Life Balance

No matter how you slice your personal pie, do you feel that most or all of the pieces are going to everyone or everyth ing but you?  Or do you feel that the tiny sliver you do get somehow isn’t bi g enough?  Or maybe it’s that some slices are huge in the areas that matter less, while tiny in the parts of your life that actually matter most?

Maybe you wonder what parts of your life really do matter most.

If you’re feeling a little, or a lot out of balance, a critical first step is getting clear on what you truly value.  Note: Not what you think you should value….what you really do value)

Often the clues in bringing clarity to what you value most are found in acknowledging what you value least. Without dwelling on the negative, simply allow yourself to become aw are of a few things that you know you don’t like or want.

I don’t like the way I feel pulled in three directions at once all the time.

I don’t want to drink 5 cups of coffee a day just to stay awake.

I don’t want to go another Friday night without doing something fun with my husband or friends.

I don’t want to make up another excuse for not getting my life in order.

The next step is where the path to Balance begins!  With the “I don’t wants” in view, ask yourself,

“What do I want?”

“I don’t like the way I feel pulled in three directions at once all the time,” becomes:

I do want to be in control of my time and priorities so I can experience peace.

“I don’t want to drink 5 cups of coffee a day just to stay awake,” becomes:

I do want to get enough exercise and rest to feel healthy and refreshed on most days.

“I don’t want to go another Friday night without doing something fun with my husband or friends,” becomes:

I want to make Friday night a priority for play, and I am willing to protect that time with healthy boundaries.

“I don’t want to make up another excuse for not getting my life in order,” becomes:

I am willing to be accountable for owning my thoughts and actions, and I am willing to get clear in taking inspired action toward living a life I love.

With greater understanding of what you do want in mind, here’s the next question:  “What’s holding me back from having or getting what I want?”

For example: “I don’t want my family life to feel so chaotic. What I do want are some old-fashioned family dinners where we can relax, laugh, and enjoy one another more often.  What’s holding me back?  Clutter!  My kitchen counters are overflowing with old mail, magazines, work, and miscellaneous stuff that needs to be put away.  I never feel like making a meal when I look at that mess. “

Though not always easy, once you know what holds you back, the next step is taking inspired action.  I say “inspired” action because I believe that makes all the difference.  Where does the “inspired” come from?  It comes from what I call your inner knowing.

Inner knowing is found when you allow yourself some time for deep listening.  Some people make this time a time for prayer, meditation, or simply being quiet.  This doesn’t mean you have to set aside yet another hour per day for doing one more thing.  Inner knowing can be found in a 10 minute shower, a walk around the block, or a 5 minute “time out” in your office.

Inspired action: “I will get myself organized and declare a No-Clutter Zone on my counters.  I will practice discipline in sorting through mail and getting rid of stuff I don’t need that’s simply taking up space.  I will put my office things in my office.  I will remember what I value most: dinners together… family time!”

Notice: I did NOT mention tackling the clutter in the rest of my life.  Only the kitchen counters.  The focus is on one thing at a time.  That way I allow myself the experience of FULL success in this particular area of my life.  It is good. It is enough.

Achieving life balance is a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional way of Being that takes practice, practice, practice.  As a personal and relationship life coach, I trust that asking the right questions leads us all to the finding the right answers that are uniquely our own.

Whether you have ever baked a real pie or not, you do have the power to serve up the slices of your life’s pie just as you desire!  Will the first slic e be yours?

Robyn Wri ght/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach/www.something-more. com

© Copyright    September 14, 2010 by Robyn Wright

The Power of Gratitude by Robyn Wright/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach

I went grocery shopping at a Target Super Center the morning of November 1^st.  There’s nothing really spectacular about that except for the transformation I witnessed on that day.

I was rounding the corner out of the dairy aisle when the 30-50% off Halloween candy caught my eye.  I slowly pushed the cart closer wondering how tempted I might actually feel when I got really close- like close enough to touch a bag of Almond Joys.  And then I saw it.

Directly opposite the marked-down Halloween remnants was the new display already beginning to fill every bit of shelf space: Christmas. I paused. Christmas?  What about Thanksgiving?

Yes- What about it?  Thanks-Giving.

In the United States, Thanksgiving traditionally has its disputed roots in the Pilgrim celebration of 1621 at Plymouth Plantation, Massachusetts. This first Thanksgiving was modeled after common European harvest festivals of the time, with the purpose of giving thanks to God for a bountiful harvest. Aside from commercialism and football, this holiday has since moved away from its religious roots and has now primarily become a holiday to express gratitude and appreciation to God, family, and friends for the blessings of life.

So how does all this relate to Life Balance? Remarkably….in all ways.

If you are a parent, you may hear yourself saying, “Say ‘thank you’.” to your child at various times.  Maybe you remember your own mother or father reminding you to say that oh-so-familiar phrase when someone helped you tie your shoes, after receiving a birthday gift, or when leaving a friend’s slumber party.  It seems that saying “thank you,” is inherently the right thing to do.  And it is.

An emerging body of research is now showing that genuine expressions of gratitude can be a restorative, health-promoting experience, not just for the recipient, but for those of us who are saying “thank you” as well. Indeed, being grateful…and expressing it…can change the way we view our closest relationships and personal life experiences.  It appears that science is proving something that many already know through intuition: the “attitude of gratitude” is a healthy choice that facilitates happiness and optimism.

Psychologists Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami have found that practicing gratitude can actually improve our emotional and physical well-being. Their ongoing Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness has found that people who keep weekly gratitude journals had fewer physical symptoms, exercised more, had a better outlook on life and were more likely to reach their goals. People with neuromuscular disease who practiced daily gratitude “had more high-energy positive moods,” felt more connected to others, and felt more positive about life in comparison to a control group.

Consider the following:

1) Gratitude attracts more of what you want. In coaching, I often say, “What you focus on expands.”  True for gratitude.  When you bring awareness to that which you appreciate and are thankful for, you focus more clearly on what you do want. The more you do this, the more you begin to receive and see those things in your life. Who or what are you grateful for?

2) Gratitude strengthens relationships. Make a mental note of the people in your world who are most appreciative of you…and let you know it. How do you feel about them? Does their expression of appreciation to you positively impact your relationship with them? Invitation: Show gratitude for people (their intrinsic value), their contributions, their gifts, and their actions. This will fortify meaningful connection between you and your partner, children, family, friends, and clients. Who have you said “thank you” to today?

3) Gratitude shines light on the positive. It is hard to stay stuck in negativity when you are directing energy toward awareness (and action) of things for which you are grateful. One of the easiest uplifts you can give yourself is to “count your blessings.” What is one, two, or a hundred ways in which you’re blessed right now?

4) Gratitude helps us move through challenges. When faced with difficulty, it is human nature to first see “something is wrong.” This creates a “fix it” mentality that usually lends itself to a negative or resistant attitude.  If viewed through the lens of gratitude, we open our hearts and minds to the question, “what is right here?”  Rather than fighting against a challenge, we are led into a co-creative space where something new can be experienced. Where can gratitude shine the light of new creation in your life?

So what about Thanksgiving?  Thank you Target.  You helped me remember.

Robyn Wright/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach/ www.something-more.com

© Copyright   7 November 2010

For the Love of Money

By Robyn Wright/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach

I have a theory.  This is it: if you grew up in a household that didn’t talk about sex, chances are nobody talked about money either. True?  Intimate subjects: sex and money.

Seriously.  How many parents tell their kids how wonderful, thrilling, life-giving, and energizing…money….can be?  Yep.  Intimate subjects: sex and money.

No, for most of us, we grow up learning about money from our friends, from what we see on TV and in the movies, and from what we read in magazines. For most, we learn by trial and error…especially the heart-breaking, and oft-regretted error.  Sometimes many errors. You may be laughing because it sounds like sex doesn’t it? Intimate subjects: sex and money.

How is it that the accumulation, lack, lust, worship, fear, spending, and saving of money consumes so much of our lives?  How is it that many of us find ourselves acting as though we are in some kind of complicated relationship with money?  Because we are.

So if money is a relationship, what’s yours like?  Co-dependent? Abusive? Distant? Clingy? Harmonious? Healthy?  Do you worry about it?

Ah… worry.  That terrible feeling in your gut.  The thing that wakes you up from a decent night’s sleep.  That spinning in your head that makes you a victim of vertigo.  How sad that it doesn’t pay the bills.

The truth is this: worrying about money, like worrying about anything, actually repels rather than attracts prosperity.  What you focus on expands.  And when the focus is on lack (of money), you experience more of it.

So in this time of seeming abundance (as you watch your checking account go down, or your credit card bills go up), what’s your focus?  If you would like to do something other than worry about money, what will it be?

Love.

That’s right: love.  Love is the most powerful force in the universe.  Love attracts.  Love is creative.  If you create a loving relationship with money, you are on your way to attracting more of it into your life.  Here’s how:

The next time you catch yourself dwelling on all you do not have, quietly and lovingly invite yourself to focus attention on all you do enjoy.  As you make this a private or public habit, appreciating and affirming your abundance will turn the worry into Wonder.

Worry is not a present-tense emotion.  It is a negative projection of the future.  Will there be enough?  Where will it come from?  How long will it last?

Wonder is a powerful, in-the-moment energy.  I wonder how I can create money today?

What a difference in focus when we put our attention on creation rather than neediness. What a difference the feeling of wonder has in your body compared to worry.  Wow!  Transforming the… What will (worry) I do?…to… What can (wonder) I do?… fuels the creative spark in every human being and leads to prosperity on all levels.

If you have little money at this time, you are being provided with opportunities to learn how to handle money well while affirming abundance in the present. You may be receiving valuable lessons on how to keep life simple, see the worth in family time, the pleasure of friendship, or the joy of generosity.

If you have an over-flow of money at this time, you are being provided with opportunities to learn how to handle money well while affirming abundance in the present.  You may be receiving valuable lessons on how to keep life simple, see the worth in family time, the pleasure of friendship, or the joy of generosity.

Valuable lessons: no matter the balance in our savings account or what TV we can afford.

And as in all relationships, we have a choice to acknowledge and receive the ever-expansiveness love can afford, or we can choose to block the flow with fear.  Money is like the Man, Woman, Child, Friend, Mother in our life.  We can lovingly cherish, support, create with, and be grateful for money.  Or we can recklessly consume, shrink from, dismiss, and devalue our relationship with it.

Gunilla Norris beautifully writes in, Being Home, “Guard me against the arrogance of privilege, against the indulgence of feeling that I don’t have enough, and the poverty of spirit that refuses to acknowledge what is daily given to me.”

In this season of remembering great Love, here’s an invitation to infuse all your relationships, even Money, with the wonderful, thrilling, life-giving, and energizing power of….Love.

Robyn Wright/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach /www.something-more.com

©   6 December 2010