No matter how you slice your personal pie, do you feel that most or all of the pieces are going to everyone or everyth ing but you? Or do you feel that the tiny sliver you do get somehow isn’t bi g enough? Or maybe it’s that some slices are huge in the areas that matter less, while tiny in the parts of your life that actually matter most?
Maybe you wonder what parts of your life really do matter most.
If you’re feeling a little, or a lot out of balance, a critical first step is getting clear on what you truly value. Note: Not what you think you should value….what you really do value)
Often the clues in bringing clarity to what you value most are found in acknowledging what you value least. Without dwelling on the negative, simply allow yourself to become aw are of a few things that you know you don’t like or want.
I don’t like the way I feel pulled in three directions at once all the time.
I don’t want to drink 5 cups of coffee a day just to stay awake.
I don’t want to go another Friday night without doing something fun with my husband or friends.
I don’t want to make up another excuse for not getting my life in order.
The next step is where the path to Balance begins! With the “I don’t wants” in view, ask yourself,
“What do I want?”
“I don’t like the way I feel pulled in three directions at once all the time,” becomes:
I do want to be in control of my time and priorities so I can experience peace.
“I don’t want to drink 5 cups of coffee a day just to stay awake,” becomes:
I do want to get enough exercise and rest to feel healthy and refreshed on most days.
“I don’t want to go another Friday night without doing something fun with my husband or friends,” becomes:
I want to make Friday night a priority for play, and I am willing to protect that time with healthy boundaries.
“I don’t want to make up another excuse for not getting my life in order,” becomes:
I am willing to be accountable for owning my thoughts and actions, and I am willing to get clear in taking inspired action toward living a life I love.
With greater understanding of what you do want in mind, here’s the next question: “What’s holding me back from having or getting what I want?”
For example: “I don’t want my family life to feel so chaotic. What I do want are some old-fashioned family dinners where we can relax, laugh, and enjoy one another more often. What’s holding me back? Clutter! My kitchen counters are overflowing with old mail, magazines, work, and miscellaneous stuff that needs to be put away. I never feel like making a meal when I look at that mess. “
Though not always easy, once you know what holds you back, the next step is taking inspired action. I say “inspired” action because I believe that makes all the difference. Where does the “inspired” come from? It comes from what I call your inner knowing.
Inner knowing is found when you allow yourself some time for deep listening. Some people make this time a time for prayer, meditation, or simply being quiet. This doesn’t mean you have to set aside yet another hour per day for doing one more thing. Inner knowing can be found in a 10 minute shower, a walk around the block, or a 5 minute “time out” in your office.
Inspired action: “I will get myself organized and declare a No-Clutter Zone on my counters. I will practice discipline in sorting through mail and getting rid of stuff I don’t need that’s simply taking up space. I will put my office things in my office. I will remember what I value most: dinners together… family time!”
Notice: I did NOT mention tackling the clutter in the rest of my life. Only the kitchen counters. The focus is on one thing at a time. That way I allow myself the experience of FULL success in this particular area of my life. It is good. It is enough.
Achieving life balance is a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional way of Being that takes practice, practice, practice. As a personal and relationship life coach, I trust that asking the right questions leads us all to the finding the right answers that are uniquely our own.
Whether you have ever baked a real pie or not, you do have the power to serve up the slices of your life’s pie just as you desire! Will the first slic e be yours?
Robyn Wri ght/ Personal & Relationship Life Coach/www.something-more. com
© Copyright September 14, 2010 by Robyn Wright